Cyber bullying: Dealing with on-line harassment

If someone has been lucky enough to escape childhood having never experienced this, then he or she must have known someone who has, as this bullying situation is ubiquitous. To affix another dimension to this whole concern, technology has intervened making it impossible to run away from intimidation.

When you envision a bully, you frequently picture a nasty child and not a screen name or an e-mail address. With the computers, cell phones, and other inventions controlling lives, it was inevitable that some form of negativity would transpire and attach itself to this technology. The Internet has created a world of social communications for young people to stay in contact with friends. While most interactions are positive, increasingly kids are utilizing these communication tools to antagonize others. The remarks can range from something petty to something as extreme as calling someone’s life. How do we handle a situation when children are becoming the malicious attackers?

These bullies can be children who are openly obnoxious, or they can even masquerade as a friend. This hypocritical behavior can be defined as continual, spiteful actions targeted at someone to cause distress. Although technology truly does provide numerous benefits, it can also possess, this very ‘dark side’. E-mail, chat rooms, mobile phones, mobile phone cameras and websites can and are being used daily by children to bully peers. With the Internet so popular, bullies can threaten their victims without exposing their identity. The bully assumes that there is no punishment for cyber bullying since it’s the Internet and after all, who is going to catch them?

Daily, kids use e-mail and instant messages to intimidate or send unflattering messages to individuals, or to others about these individuals. Likewise, embarrassing information, photos or stories about someone can be posted on websites for others to see. In some cases, websites have been created for this purpose. Another potentially damaging technique is obtaining someone’s password and then sending inappropriate material to someone else using the victim’s e-mail account.

Approximately five years ago, a student attending a Westmount elementary school was cyber bullied for an entire year. It became so devastating that the police had to intervene as this particular young girl did not want to attend school any longer. In December 2003, a Canadian boy had to drop out of high school and complete the school year in a psychiatric ward due to the emotional damage his cyber bullies had caused him.

Prevention is crucial at school and at home, but how? It is very important for adults to recognize that adolescents relate to technology differently. Adults think of computers as practical business tools that can be used to find and send information without using the postal service.

Although adults may try to screen with filters and block unwanted messages, bullies are flexible in altering their screen names. Some advisable methods can be implemented by parents to minimize the likelihood of this problem occurring. The first is to build a solid network of communication between parent and child so that the child will be comfortable confiding in his or her parents should this harassment occur.

Secondly, children should be instructed never to reveal any personal information to anyone. Thirdly, every child must be made to understand that he or she must never respond to a cyber bully and never believe that anything in print is necessarily true. In addition everyone should be aware that chat rooms are dangerous places. Fourth, teenagers should never agree to meet someone they have spoken to online unless they are accompanied by a parent.

In addition, parents must be on the lookout for signs demonstrating that their child is experiencing some problems in school or on the internet at home. This does not refer to regular disputes amongst kids but perhaps there is something bothering your child that you may have noticed that requires intervention. Behaviors to be aware of are constant illnesses that may keep them away from school, a reluctance to join extra curricular activities, nightmares, physical injuries, plus other odd changes. Don’t wait and assume that whatever it is will disappear on its own. This can only exacerbate a potentially serious problem which could eventually traumatize the child for longer than necessary.

Once a child tells a teacher or parents of cyber harassment, the adults should immediately inform the police and the Internet Instant Messaging (IM) or the mobile phone service provider. Legal difficulties are sometimes associated with forcing any website to shut down, therefore patience is required to deal with the problem.

Police officer Adalbert Pimentel is constantly in communication with Westmount schools. He follows many cyber bullying cases and visits many of the schools to discuss this topic. “We come equipped with a power point presentation, pamphlets on Cyber bullying written by psychologists and we also encourage kids to tell when they are having difficulties with other kids. No one should ever be picked on,� he said.

He wants children to think about who they hang out with and they should select friends who respect them. “Most of the time kids know exactly who is bullying them and when they do, they tend to just change their email address,� he said. “But when parents and the school can’t solve the problem, going to the police is essential as we have ways to track down the cyber bully. Parents must be proactive and not close their eyes to signs showing a sudden change in their child’s behavior.�

Unfortunately we exist within a world of bullies beginning when we’re children and even into adulthood. We cannot seem to escape it but the cyber network has made it more hazardous and widespread. Didn’t the Dawson murderer utilize the Internet to spread his venom and attract the attention of others? Our technological society has truly evolved into a terrifying place. The day of the CEGEP shooting, I was flying to Los Angeles to visit my brother and luckily my daughter, a Dawson student was able to run out of the school safely, but what she witnessed lives on in her dreams.

Fortunately she’s physically unharmed, but what about other innocent individuals who have shared their horror stories and are struggling emotionally and physically to live without trepidation. Too much of this sick propaganda is transmitted through cyber space and there are many who actually believe what they read. The peril of all threats possessing immoral values is what we need to be alerted to, and how to handle it within the progression of innovation, is an overwhelming task that should not be ignored.