Westmount, I’ve found, is one of those places:

· Where it is not impossible, but certainly unlikely, to be able to stand on any intersection between 7 and 8:30 a.m. and, looking in all directions, not spot at least one person walking their dog.

· Where local store clerks and business owners first greet you with an arrogant mix of rudeness and contempt, then nearly throw their backs out trying to lick your boots when they realize who you are.

· Where otherwise mild-mannered motorists suddenly morph into nasty, confrontational beasts the minute they turn onto Victoria or Greene Avenue and are faced with the daunting prospect of finding a parking space.

· Where the expanse of green space between Cote St. Antoine Road and Westmount Avenue can be named King George Park for nearly 70 years but is rarely referred to as anything but Murray Hill Park by locals.

· Where, in the upper sections of the city, private contractors, landscapers and other professionals easily outnumber the actual residents during the day.

· Where accepted dog run etiquette demands that owners are known to each other not by name but by their dog. No matter who you are in real life, in the dog run you are anonymously “Ginger’s owner” or “Rex’s owner.”

· Where nearly every house puts out at least one recycling blue box every week, and each is likely to contain half a dozen wine bottles — mostly the good stuff, too.

· Where you can pay more than $1 million for a house, then find out that the City and your neighbours have just as much say in your renovation and redecorating plans as you do.

· Where any unfortunate event, such as a fire or a tree falling onto a house, is sure to draw the mayor and the City’s director general to the scene right away, even if it happens at 4 a.m.

· Where most public speakers always take care to present a generous portion of their speech in French, even when they know that everyone in the room is an Anglophone.

· Where very few parents attend their children’s soccer games. The SUVs pull up to the field and let the kids off before each game, then come back to collect them later. In Westmount, soccer is not a spectator sport.





.