Vacationing with the children… who really has all the fun?

Pails, shovels, rafts plus some educational games and books (for those quieter moments), are thrown in for extra insurance towards the creation of an ideal retreat. After all, this effort is all about providing a wonderful time for the children and somehow, in the process of subconsciously trying to be the greatest parents, we tend to neglect ourselves, the ones who actually require a getaway and a change of pace.

As we head out with anticipation, our heavy-set car plods along weighed down by all our excess baggage. The hours tend to drag on in the front seats as the familiar childhood musical renditions do not in any way capture our adult attention, but the kids are content and isn’t that what we want? Parental pleasure is not as essential as satisfying their needs. Their evident delight is proof of a successful trip wrapped in family togetherness, and new experiences.

Throughout the developmental years, as parents of once-upon-a-time younger children, I cannot recall a family escape that included an actual adult rest. They were not work related stressful occasions, but they were demanding in other ways as we earnestly tried ensuring that the children were indulging in new adventures. We were always so intent in providing sufficient diversions that we totally neglected ourselves. We sweated in endless lines waiting at The Great Escape to enter the miniature fairytale houses, tried all the rides we bravely dared to ride on our three occasions to Disney World, chased the kids around every toy store during Christmas in Florida after a day at the beach, and dined solely at restaurants that provided toy prizes or had arcades as entertainment.

As the children grew older and our parental presence wasn’t as pleasurable, we began a nightly chauffeuring service in order that they could visit their friends. This included transporting them from Boca Raton to Hollywood to Fort Lauderdale and back, and driving in Florida during that time of year was not a treat in the very hectic traffic. I am trying to remember when we actually remained still, but honestly the expectation was never there. But we couldn’t blame our children for these inconveniences, as we had offered. Our motivation was to create special times and hopefully we did, but did we also go overboard?

The memory of our overtaxed, bulky car travels back to a particular vacation about 12 years ago in Lake George, New York. It was a very oppressive summer, a typical end of July, when I decided to take my family to a haunt of my own past youth. The desire was to enjoy with them while subconsciously reliving my own childhood. After weeks of preparation we were off. We had five days reserved at this little motel right on the beach and the name of it escapes me as I try desperately to recall it.

When we arrived, we were breathlessly awestruck with the picturesque scenery. The sun reflected shadows of yellowish light on the greenish blue waters. Surrounding the lake was a wide array of water sports displayed on the beach tempting us all. Cozy cabins lined the grassy grounds with wild flowers framing their entrances. Our rented place was adequate, but unfortunately it was also quite damp, and to this day, I can still smell that odd musty smell permeating the walls. The air conditioning was very noisy, and only cooled down one room. The carpets were slightly stained and although I momentarily contemplated moving, as the accommodations were disappointing, the beach was too inviting so I decided to manage with a few inconveniences. Besides the kids never seemed to notice the discomforts so I was resolved to make the best of it, as we were anticipating on being outside more than inside. Although each evening we would remark that the sheets on the bed felt slightly wet, and my youngest daughter had contracted some kind of stomach virus, we carried on optimistically as if she was fine. If she could handle it, so could we.

Each day was jam packed with activities, and tourist attractions. We were extremely grateful for the excellent weather and we relished in the kids’ enjoyment, but were all our sacrifices and fatigue worth it? After all, by the time we reached the finale of this trip, we were instantaneously reminded, especially on the long way home, that we desperately needed a real vacation.

If I close my eyes and step back in time, I can still hear the childish laughter, the splashing in the lake, and the sunburned little noses shaded by floppy coloured sunhats intently immersed in building sand castles. There are visions of mud pies, sleepy faces, lying together on towels on the beach, shouts of appreciation, and late night excursions to the nearest ice cream parlour in pyjamas. As parents we realized that these times were fleeting and presently all that remains are faint glimmers of those days. Frankly, it was, without any doubts, and without hesitation, most definitely worth it.

I may not have been any more relaxed after these vacations, but I did feel connected to my kids and therefore my goal was satisfied. I wanted them to experience all that I could offer to their childhood.

After all, there is plenty of time to rest and those moments should be reflected upon as special snapshots of that irreplaceable past and those youthful days.