Stéphane Dion Finally Fights the Bully

Finally one day the weakling risked a 10-cent stamp and wrote to Charles Atlas. After building up his muscles and his courage he came back to beach and punched out the bully, and all the girls who had laughed at him crowded around and cheered.

A bit like Parliament Hill.

For two years, Stephen Harper kicked sand in Stéphane Dion’s face, called him insulting names and mopped up the beach with him. Dion finished the 2008 Election covered with sand and Puffin droppings.

His party showed him the door ever so politely.

There is a wise saying in politics, as in life: “Beware of a man who has nothing to lose.” Especially a man with a good trainer.

Dion had gone for a makeover to Charles Atlas Chrétien who lent him his spine and showed him how to muster courage.

So when Harper, who knew nothing of this, sneaked in three doctrinaire resolutions into economic statement had nothing to do with economics, but everything with kicking sand in people’s faces, it was like the unsuspecting bully walking up to his former beach-side punching bag for another round of fun.

But this time the weakling was ready to fight. Harper never saw the coalition coming. Within hours he was in the worst fight in his life.

He tried to back out of it. He even dropped his first resolution. Then his second, then his third. Nothing seemed to work. It was no use.

He promised to come up with a real action plan in February. Okay then, he would move it up to January. Any earlier and he would be competing with Santa Claus.

Nothing seemed to work. Nobody wanted anything of what he said. He was ready to do whatever to hold on to power. But it was too late.

The crowd on the beach just wanted to see him get his own medicine, even if only for just this once.

What Harper had worked so hard to achieve for the past 14 years was being punched out of him. He might never get respect again.

Three against one! Hardly a fair fight. But then, it was Harper who brought them together. Who says the beach was ever fair?

And the worst part of it, the beach girls who had been on Harper’s side, admiring his toughness in the past, were now chortling over his misfortune and cheering on their new unlikely hero.

Dion was saying three working together will be the new way of doing business at the beach.

Harper kept shouting names and backing away. He wished his Puffin was still around; he could use him now. But the bird was no longer funny. The beach is a big place and it’s hard to hide. Everybody knows when you get a beating.

Life at the beach will never be the same.