Parents of the Year 2008

It's been a wild year for parents, and for me, doubly so. I'm getting into that transition phase of parenting, where my daughter is going from a toddler to a little person, with likes, dislikes, opinions, fears and otherwise. My little tiny baby will turn four years old at the end of January, she's already started pre-school and is clearly growing into a child that very much has a mind of her own. And I guess that's a good thing.

Imagine if Britney Spears' mom had a mind of her own? The lovely Lynne Spears, of Kentwood, Louisiana wrote a book, Through the Storm, that turned into a tell-all about her daughters' sexual proclivities, drug and alcohol use as teenagers in show business. If Britney's very public breakdown wasn't enough to convince us that Lynne Spears isn't God's gift to parenting, her other daughter, 17-year-old Jamie Lynn, also found herself pregnant and gave birth this year. The book Lynne authored was initially planned a parenting primer, but even the publishing company's execs thought a tell-all would be a better bet than a parenting how-to. Who wouldn't take advice from a mother so sterling?

The second such parent is Sarah Palin, who ran alongside Republican nominee John McCain in November's U.S. elections and revealed to the world that her own 17-year-old daughter was pregnant and chose to keep the baby rather than abort it.

Isn't it nice that Palin's daughter had that choice? In fact, it's a choice Palin, through limiting access to abortion, would deny other girls caught in the same situation.

For their hypocrisy and putting their own desire for fame and power above their children's best interests, Palin and Spears are the parents of the year for 2008.

The prospects for 2009? Well, it's early yet, but Paul McCartney's ex, legendary money-grubber Heather Mills, spent nearly $200,000 on her four-year-old daughter's birthday party (that will be great for her sense of entitlement) or Denise Richards, who pimped out her daughters in order to land a reality-TV series she hoped would resurrect her fast-fading career. Either way, I'm sure that 2009 will bring us a bevy of celebrities with too much money over-indulging their little ones.

I suppose it's easy to poke fun at celebrities rather than coming up with original, insightful column material, but c'mon, people. This is the holidays. Any kind of parenting columnist worth his salt is out with his child sledding, skating and otherwise enjoying the holidays, not beating himself up to come up with a Walter Mittyesque ode to the joys of parenting.

I'd rather actually enjoy parenting, thank you very much. And after we come in from skating and have hot chocolate, there's a football game on the tube.

Gotta love the holidays.

Have a safe and happy new year, and from all of us here at the Chronicle, we wish you a prosperous and healthy 2009. Even you, Lynne and Sarah.