Still working out this workout thing

So much for that. Motivation. Some days I've got it - other days, I'm less inspired than a stickman drawing. I try to make it to the gym at least three times a week. But lately, I've been swapping in the home workouts because honestly, it's so much more convenient. I don't have to find parking or wait for the water fountain or wipe some inconsiderate oaf's sweat off the machines. It's also unlikely that some gross old lady will be parading her naked old lady bits around my shower afterwards. Although, there was that one time in college... (aside: my boyfriend said he actually saw some guy at the gym using the hair dryer to fluff below the equator. I know!! And you were worried about H1N1.)

But I digress. All to say - lately, I've been sweatin' it out in my own living room. I like it. It's private, save for a couple of chihuahuas. And they don't judge my ugly workout clothes or my visible panty line. At least not out loud. The video I've been doing (Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred) is pretty good, but at this point I've seen it too many times. I know exactly when she's going to make a wisecrack or an encouraging remark. I know when the girl in the back is going to mess up her jumping lunge. I know when Jillian says "Okay, 2 more..." It's time for me to stop and take a drink of water. Take your 2 more reps and stick it, lady.

So, on the quest for new material - it got me to reminiscing about the good ol' days of weight loss pitches:

Jane Fonda's 20 Minute Workout, Suzanne Somers' Thighmaster, Billy Blanks and his Tae Bo routine, Susan Powter's Stop the Insanity, Richard Simmons' Sweatin' To The Oldies! And oh god, do you remember the lion-haired woman who told us we could slim down just through using her breathing techniques?

Search "Greer Childers" on Youtube and watch her melting off the pounds by making really bad orgasm faces. Hilarious.

And how about the Abdomenizer? It was a piece of curved blue plastic that helped you rock rock rock your way to a firmer stomach! If you've got one collecting dust in the garage, you might wanna pull it out this winter. Apparently, the Abdomenizer came with a warning on the underside that read: "Do not use as a sled". Which of course means you should probably go ahead and try it out. Hey, it's not like most exercise equipment doesn't get repurposed anyway (how long has your laundry been draped over the treadmill?).

Of course, if you're not into the workout DVD's and your gym membership has long since expired, you can always rely on the holidays to tone a few key areas: biceps from eggnog-hefting, glutes from picking Christmas tree needles off the floor and of course, for that full body workout (and absolutely free, I might add) you can always count on ol' faithful: snow shoveling.