Having chanced upon scraps of the local paper discarded rather unceremoniously in public refuse receptacles, here and there as it might be, I have followed with no small degree of interest recent accounts of the ongoing controversy surrounding the so-called illegal practice of feeding indigenous wildlife in local parks, and I feel compelled to voice my utter contempt for this grossly unfair and misguided legislation.
While our elected officials and law enforcement officers have stated their positions most eloquently and in no uncertain terms, it is my opinion that they have, in their obvious exuberance and self-congratulatory righteousness, happened to overlook that which is without doubt the most important factor in this unfortunate equation — the actual members of the wildlife population themselves.
As a proud native of Westmount, I must admit to a fondness for the diet and lifestyle incumbent to this excellent community. Rather than existing on the bland fare of my rural cousins, I for one prefer to gnaw on a peanut, imported from sunnier climes, the core of a jolly apple, or — most delectable of all — a salty piece of popcorn, tossed to me in the spirit of kindness and charity by a fellow Westmounter.
I say, let the legislators grub through the rancid topsoil for tiny, unsavoury morsels. I demand to continue enjoying the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed.
<@Rb>Jeremy Squirrel
Westmount Park<@$p>
Nuts to this!
Nuts to this!
To the editor:
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